take me as i am

2009-07-25T01:31:00.001-07:00

THIS BLOG IS DEAD!
-_-"
too lazy to update!
=(

2009-04-24T15:35:00.000-07:00

today, we went grocery shopping together.
we pushed the trolley together. - i pushed the left half of the handle, while he pushed the right.
it looked loving. it felt sweet =)

during this exam-mugging period, whenever i feel hungry in the wee hours of the night,
he goes down to the kitchen, prepares potato wedges + mayo, or cooks a packet of mee-goreng instant noodles for me, without any complaints.
i feel his support. i appreciate his effort. i feel more than contented, fortunate =)

2 more days till my 1st paper.
im not prepared at all -_-"
but i just cant wait to fucking get over this.
i cant wait to go overseas for my well-deserved holiday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i cant wait to settle down in a full-time job and start earning real $$$$$$$$$$$$
i cant wait to give my parents the good life that iv always dreamt of giving them
its all gonna happen. soon.

2009-03-30T12:33:00.000-07:00

havent had time to update at all.
u guys must have been wondering if iv gotten into a road accident already or not right..??
well the answer is, NO!
i mean yea i did bump into things/curbs once or twice, but its all minor
so far so good! iv been able to find my way around, even without GPS!
thanks to my baby, my human-GPS/street directory. he gives good, reliable directions, UNLIKE ELVYN SIM!!!! gave me inaccurate info n caused me to miss the exit to orchard road, and i ended up having to pass 3 ERPs as a result. boo!!

actually iv got so much to say, so much to complain about school, stress, fucked up people etc...
but iv got no time, no mood, no energy to write so much.
and y bother blogging about the unhappy things right...
i just cant wait 4 sch to end in about 1mths time... for exams 2 b over... and stuff...
uv no idea how im gonna celebrate the end of my schooling journey when it finally comes!!!!!!!!

for now, im a super busy, drained, lifeless soul... but a happy one nonetheless...
thats cuz i feel really fortunate to have my baby with me...
when times are bad, he's always here to help me, support me, take care of me...
im really touched by baby's actions...
he makes me feel guilty cuz hes just... doing so much for me...
i feel that i dont deserve it... i feel bad...

today, baby helped me. without hesitation at all, although it's quite a major issue/sacrifice.
baby's actions, at least to me, reflected "selflessness"
baby takes care of me, as much as (or even more than) how my parents take care of me...
im so grateful and touched...
thank you... thank you...
that's all that i can say/do now... but give me a few more months...just a lil more time to settle school stuff/regain financial stability
and i'll put into action, how much i love you, and how much i wanna care for you and make u happy...

i feel that im a fortunate girlfriend.
i know there are girls out there, whose bfs cheat on them/abuse them... thats sad...
while on the other hand, there r also girls whose bfs shower them with gifts etc... well thats perfect! sooo luckyyy!
but im really really happy the way things are, for me, now...
obviously i do not get abused... neither do i get gifts from baby everyday/every week...
but yes, baby does buy me stuff, like ask me to get all items when i cant choose between a couple of choices (or example, rings from Diva) , or, help me transfer $ for my online shopping... and of course, the more pricey anniversary/special occasion gifts, like my beloved LV vernis bellevue!
hmm, i feel that these are enough already... im satisfied =)
most importantly, he brings me fun and laughter... in a simple way... just hanging out together in his room, making fun of each other... being together, doing things together...
i dont know y but... its so simple, YET so enjoyable!

actually, im guilty of complaining to friends that my bf is boring... dun like to go out, dun take me to interesting places etc...
im also guilty of complaining directly to baby, that he's so boring.
-_-
but in the end, why isit that, now that im alone in my room, in my own house, without baby, that i actually feel like, something is amiss...
and.. im actually feeling so bored/lonely that i resort to blogging...?
hmmm i guess the only explanation is... perhaps, unknowingly, iv really fallen in love with u, and ur company... u lil silent killer.
i miss your presence!
goodnight!

2009-03-02T02:30:00.000-08:00

I PASSED MY DRIVNG TEST!!!
I CAN FINALLY BE ON THE ROADS, LEGALLY!!
WHEE!!!
IM SUPER HAPPY!!!
=DDDDDDDDDDDD

thanks to MR PECK CHIN HUAT, my amazing driving instructor! yes yes i'll definitely intro students to him!
thanks to MR GOH LIM HENG, my nice tester!
thanks to everyone who have allowed me to drive your vehicle before!
thanks to baby for being there, waiting for me, giving me crash courses... all that and more!
=DDD

2009-02-20T06:34:00.000-08:00

i think i was crazy last nite...
usually i'll take bus 151 from school, past bukit timah then get off to change bus
then i'll alight at the famous thomson roti prata house and take a cab to baby's place, cuz its really kinda far to walk...
but last night, i walked all the way back...=x took almost half an hour...

after that, around 3am, i dragged baby to go jogging!
i know, its nothing amazing or what, but... the point is, i havent jogged/had any urge to jog for like...a year?!
yes im serious, i havent been exercising at all...

but last night, i thinki was happy cuz iv got a 1 week midterm break!
I SERIOUSLY NEED A BREAK, IRREGARDLESS OF HOW SHORT IT MIGHT BE!!!!!!!!
u see, for the past 2 mth, iv been going to school religiously for at least 3 days a week...(hmm...its a big deal to me, cuz for the past 2 years iv been skipping sch, and mayb attending only like once a week? =x)
and iv been having to do alot of assignments, preparaion work, and project stuff...as my modules this sem r very taxing, ESPECIALLY JAPANESE. arghssssssss (iv got 3 jap tutorials, 2 of which are 2 hours long, and 1 lecture every week! wtf!)
the thing about jap lessons is...if the tutor ask u a question, and u did not prepare/study before the lesson, u will not be able to answer, and u'll be left super embarrassed. whereas its different for other modules - eg. for some/most? Arts modules, tutors ask rather 'opinion-based' questions whereby there's no definite right or wrong answer. basically u can just crap out some lame answer and the tutor cant exactly find fault w u.

but for jap,
1. tutor asks u question in jap.
2. u dont understand what the f she's saying cuz u did not prepare before tutorial
3. the class is silent, waiting for ur reponse. all eyes on u.
4. u can only go 'errr... errr....'
arghs super embarrassing!
and the thing is, the tutors make sure they question/test every single student, each lesson!
which is why, i have no choice but to study before tuts. sigh.
seriously, this is the 1st time iv been so 'serious' towards my studies, in 3 years...
in the past i used to just play/work/slack through the semester, until the final exams, when i'll start mugging laz minute...
what a 'model' student...

well, 2 more months and i'll be done with school FOR GOOD.
feel kinda sad now... how come life slips by so quickily... its like...u hardly notice it at all...scary
yet another phase of my life is going to end, and things are going to change again...
the phase that i enjoyed and treasured the most, was my JC days... rock climbing days... laughing like mad chicken everyday...doing sports, pushing my limits...feeling proud of myself... wtf i fucking miss those days... but the truth is i can never get it back again... sigh...

dammit this is getting so depressing.
change topic. im gonna get a set of car stickers printed overseas! (cuz sg so limited, and so ex)
and im gonna make it pinky, girly and all that!
i asked baby, 'if i wanna paste hello kitty on the outside of the car... bigbig one... how would u feel?'
he replied 'if u really want it, im fine with the idea'
arhhhh!!! i love my bf!!! hahahahahahahhahaha
i seriously think baby is so nice to me. i rmb the day he stuffed $50 in my wallet for no reason... just wantin me to hav enough $ to use... wanting me to take cab instead of public transport (such a looonnngggg and tiring journey esp in the evening where there's always horrible JAMS)
im really touched okayyy!!! i appreciate!!!
thank you for all the small things =)))

well anyway, i'll post up some images of my 'inspirations' for my design...
comments comments! =)))

walao super nice cannnn
i got an ugly car. ugly boring colour. ugly inside ugly outside.
but im determined to beautify/cutesify it!!! roarrrr

2009-02-09T05:18:00.000-08:00

my TP test is in about 3 more weeks! yet, today was the first time that i actually went into the circuit to prac. feeling rather stressed.

since im on this topic, id like to talk about my driving instructor abit.
he's mr peck chin huat, some of you might have already heard of him, as he's rather famous, and known for being a good instructor, hence i don't really have to do much to "promote" him... but what im about to say is sincerely from the bottom of my heart...

i started off my driving lessons in a rather bad way.
janice recommended this driving instructor, mr soh, because its been rumoured that he's quite good, and, most importantly - able to get his students early test dates, and that was my no.1 priority.
so, i got in touch with him, and arranged for a lesson.
but when i arrived at my 1st lesson, it turned out that mr soh had sent his assistant to teach me. mr soh himself, wasnt around.
i was quited turned off because i thought it was quite irresponsible of him to do so, and it shows that he's a greedy and kinda dishonest person - not free to accept anymore students but die die wanna take in the students but throw to other people to teach.
i mean, for me its not a big issue because i dont care who's the one who's gonna teach me, i just want my early test date. however i was thinking, what about those people who signed up sincerely because they wanted a renowned, good instructor to teach them, but end up being disappointed? i dont think its very good for his reputation.
but oh well, the MAIN thing was, this mr soh only teaches manual. and i was assigned a manual car to learn driving EVEN THOUGH i stated clearly on the phone, that i wanted to learn auto, so it just goes out to CONFIRM the fact that mr soh is a dishonest greedy bastard!
the instructor whom he sent tried to "convince" me to learn manual instead, by saying that "ehh xiao jie, u know those sports cars...ferrari la...blablabla la...fast cars.. all are manual loh! thats y you learn manual better!"
i replied, hey sir, i ALREADY have a car, and its neither a ferrari or wad flashy fast car, its a civic, and its AUTO. so y the f i wanna learn manual. anyway lotsa "fast" cars today have the dual transmission mode loh. who says only manual.
then he said what... most accidents are caused by auto cars blablabla... i didnt even bother to listen *rollllssss eyesssss*
but since i'd already spent $ taking cab from thomson to ubi, i had no choice but to just proceed with the lesson right... i hate to do things for nothing, and that includes travelling from north to east for nothing... hence i thought id just try out a manual lesson for fun... sigh~ wasted about $40, but ok lah, at least i learn something.
but anyway, i decided to do away with this mr soh and his dishonest practices. i sought a new driving instructor...

... and this is how i got to meet mr peck chin huat :)
1st lesson - he spent ALOT of time explaining theory stuff, very basic stuff to me... like how to adjust car seat blablabla
i mean yea, one has to learn such stuff, but THE WAY he simply went on and on and on about 1 single thing was kinda irritating to me.
even though i told him, yea all these i know already, i had a lesson last week/id driven before, he still went on n on n on n on n on...
so i was feeling quite pissed, thinking that hes another dishonest cheaterbug who wants to "waste time" by yakking away instead of starting the practical lesson proper.

however, over the days, i realised that he's a naggy, fierce (only at times), but caring instructor who sincerely wants you to learn properlyand be 100% sure.
i was very touched by that one time, when he received a phone call from fellow driving instructors that there were available test dates for registration. he asked me if i wanted an early test date. of course i said YES, and he immediately took down my details, drove back to the driving school, got own of the car and RAN into the building to register a slot for me...
he said that available slots get snapped up very very quickly, so he had to really rush...
it was drizzling that day, and i saw him run... with all his might...
i felt touched... and in a weird way i kinda felt like he was like a... father... lol!
well yea, thats MR PECK CHIN HUAT, well known for having a high passing rate, and being a NICE person. if u wanna get him to teach u driving, simply google his name and u'll find his website (he calls his website a "dot.com" but he pronounces it as "lok kom" hehe so cute)

anyway, as much as i like mr peck, i dont wish to see him anymore (as in, for lessons)... SO PLEASEEEE let me pass my coming TP test!!!

recent updates...
CNY, had reunion dinner with baby's family at Long Beach restaurant at east coast park... chinese dishes (which are so-so to me)... but there was crab! haha! so embarrassing cuz bay had to peel the crab for me in front of everyone =x but its a good thing i kinda get along with his parents... *phew* ;p
After that, headed to Chris jiejie's side for get-together/talk talk session... kinda sad to see that my aunt (mum's eldest sis) is sufferring from slight dementia... sigh...
honestly, i went there purely to visit, and because i miss my relatives, and not for the sake of collecting red packets... in fact, i feel bad for accepting red packets from my mum' side relatives, cuz alot of her sisters are already rather elderly, some with sicknesses... seriously how can i bear taking $ from them, when im like young and able, and already old enough to earn my own money...
i tried pushing away their red packets... but then again, it comes off as rude if u reject their goodwill... so i had to accept them, and feel guilty afterwards...
however, in order to make myself feel better, i used part of the red packet money to buy New Moon foodstuff like abalone blablabla to "return" to my relatives... haha
I also went to dad's side, but by the time we arrived, most of my other relatives had already left =((((
abit out of point, but i remember last yr CNY, my cousin pamela commented that my dad looks like homer simpson cuz he was wearing a yellow polo tee... hehe... funny~
1 of my cousins getting married in march! CONGRATS! will be there! =)))

not long ago was also baby's sister's daughter's 1st birthday! (aka his niece la. haha)
birthday party at their condo's function room, in east coast again... haha
we bought a toy pony from Toysrus for her to ride... it has wheels, so she gotta move her legs in a walking-motion to navigate the pony... quite a meaningful gift cuz it encourages her to learn to walk ya? not to mention, it has music too, when u push on a button! haha

i whish everyday could be about having fun and going out, but sadly, no...
school work and projects piling up by the day, life is so stressful! arghs
ok update again soon, till then, byeee!

2009-01-24T14:32:00.000-08:00

today is the day i had multiple 'heart attacks'.

1. when i was showering.
washing off the conditioner from my hair - u should know that, after conditioning, one's hair becomes really smooth, so i was basically running my fingers through my hair, combing, smoothing the conditioner off... when suddenly... i felt something rough, furry, and with seemingly numerous sections/legs!!!
i immediately brushed it off my hair, and to my surprise, when i looked at it in horror as it fell onto the ground of the bathroom... i realised that it was nothing but 1 piece of fake eyelash... *DIAO*

2. when i was decorating my phone with blings + superglue.
i apologize that im unable to do into detail here, as its gonna be kinda obscene. will only share this with closer female friends who ask me about it ya? but all i can say is, it was something embarrassing, shocking, unbelievable, painful, and most importantly, it was just this close to being DANGEROUS... but thank goodness... it was you3 jing1 wu2 xian3 once again... but ive definitely learnt to be more careful when handling superglue... =x

3. mummy left a tied-up KFC plastic bag of food on the dining table. when i was untying it, a fucking lizard jumped out, which in turn, made me jump. fuck lar, not the 1st time iv had such encounters with lizards... but still... arghs... (did i mention that when i was in primary school, there was this time that a lizard landed ON my arm??!!) I HATE LIZARDSSS!!!

alright, just ranting.
looking forward to the reunion dinners
as well as juliet's house party on the 27th! whee

2009-01-22T12:29:00.000-08:00

ktv tonight with jan n her friends...
turns out that bree's sis was among the group as well... what a small world!
recently its been more of chillout, ktv, nua at home...
clubbing's like totally outta my life already
whenever i go clubbing recently, i feel tired, n i realised i tend to keep wondering when my friends will decide that its time to go home... =x
i feel olllldddd~~~
or mayb im just not in the mood for it...
really stressed over studies... and $ issues...

went for my 1st jap language lecture today... and i was kinda totally lost? and the fckin textbooks cost me $60... had no choice but to buy them (very very reluctantly) cuz it was compulsory to do so.
i know i know $60 is not ALOT, but i juz feel pissed cuz im spending it on something that i dont want and hate. thats the thing. ew books ewww.
and im the sort who's too lazy to sell my used textbooks, unlike what most students do. 95% of my textbooks since yr 1, are still with me. i simply keep procrastinating semester after semester.
hmm... in a blink of an eye... school life's gonna finally come to an end...
and i don't know if i should feel happy or sad about it... i just find it really scary how time flies...
im afraid of changes that might come... and im afraid that things that im comfortable with now, might not remain the way they are...
but what can anyone do about things like these... life is full of uncertainty... thats why some feel better cuz they have e 'god' to turn to... and religion to guide them
but i dont.
right now im just... lost... i need someone, somehow, to enlighten me... i need to find out what i really want in life.
what am i going to do after i graduate?
im sure some can really tel that im super disturbed and stressed up this sem... im sure u can tel from the way im writing now! -__-"
for now, i just hope that everything goes well for my family, and baby of course. i'd be satisfied :)

also, iv been playing this game Left 4 Dead recently.
joleen was the one who first introduced it to me while we were gaming at the LAN shop... then baby and i downloaded it onto our comps and started playing at home...
i remember there was 1 night, we played for 4-5 hours till 6am...n i couldnt wake up for school the next day...arghs

upcoming...
- CNY, of course!
- i really have no clue what to do/buy for baby for V-day
- Alexis's wedding on V-day! (will be attending!) congrats!
- driving test (TP) on 2nd march! i must passsssss!

2009-01-21T06:25:00.000-08:00

oh my its been a LONG while since i last updated
i dunno y but iv been so busy! hardly even online.
but now that school has started again, im back at the comp -__-

iv got lotsa stuff to blog about, but im lazy~
why? because iv got to maintain my module blog!
im supposed to update weekly, some sort of a learning jouney...
and since its gonna b graded, it's more important than my personal blog (for the time being) rite...

also, i accidentally burnt my laptop's keypad (i left my curling tongs on top of the keypad for like...5 seconds, while i was separating a lock of hair to curl... and viola, the keypad sorta 'melted'...)
wtf manz...
luckily baby didnt get angry with me..since he was the one who bought the laptop..
and also fortunately, only the alphabet 'E' is damaged... i have to press really hard on it!
hence, it really slows down my typing speed, and makes me not feel like blogging at all. zzz
i duno how i can fix it... any1 knows?

so, for now, im juz gona update in point form, so that i dont forget the events which had taken place in my life! (the purpose of my blog is mainly for me to remember stuff which has happened... so im juz gonna write in my own 'language', and if u dont understand wad iv written...too bad for u. heehee kiddin ;p)

Xmas eve: lunch with baby's family at Soup Restaurant, dinner with my family at Brassiere Wolf. really enjoyed myself as it was pretty cosy, simple, and i simply love 'gatherings'

New Year's eve: Siloso Beach Party, everything free, thanks to NICK! but... i puked! lol. horrible horrible.

hows things going with baby? great! really vvvvvv happy, cuz he bought me something which i really really really wanted... LV Monogram Vernis Bellevue PM in Violette! as well as an anniversary bracelet... *appreciate it really, touched*

but im thinking of exchanging it for the Alma instead, in Amarante. y exchange? cuz baby bought it as a surprise, and he did not really know which colour i wanted. i think violette's beautiful but kina hard to match! that's why im thinking of getting another colour. Amarante is close to black, so it'd prolly look appropriate with any-coloured outfit!

i will definitely change the colour, but im not sure if i should change to Alma, or stick to Bellevue.
what do u think? advice pls!

im also in love with this key holder, but i can only fantasize, cuz its fucking expensive, and i will NOT spend that much money on a keyring?!?!?! nonononono

furthermore, im gonna be cutting down on work and events this semester, because its my final semester in school, and my results so far, is damn shitty and borderline!
if i do not buck up this sem, i might risk not being able to graduate luh. and i do NOT wanna spend/waste anymore time studying!!!!!
last but definitely not least, i dropped 1 module last sem, so this sem, iv got to make up for it, and instead of the usual 5 modules, iv got 6 modules to take! help!!!
i really wish to concentrate on my studies this sem, so friends, pls help by reminding and encouraging me to work hard, wake up for school etc ok?
thanks, hugs~~~

p.s. anyone who can provide me with V-day tips/ideas pls mail me at ms.lady.scarlette@gmail.com!

2008-12-23T12:21:00.000-08:00

iv been so happy.
slacking, lazing around, earning money, going out, and having fun everyday, irregardless of what i do.
and i feel that WE r getting happier and happier.
its been 1 year+
my longest relationship so far?
yea my relationships seldom last 1 yr+, and usually by the 8th month, i start feeling bored... or serious problems start surfacing...
however, with baby... i still feel like... im able to go on... i still feel... fresh? haha
i guess what i mean is, i feel right.

on this cold, rainy eve of xmas eve, i just wanna say that, every moment spent with u baby...i feel happy :)
yes of course its not perfect.
u still make me angry, make me cry, make me disappointed, make me very very hurt.
but at the end of the day, im glad we are both always able to look past the problems, and make peace with each other again ;p
and honestly, i doubt id be happy if my relationship were to be smooth-sailing all the time, peaceful...
id be bored!
all these ups and downs actually 'spice' up the relationship, help us understand each other better, and even bond us closer together...
looking back, we've indeed been through a good deal of obstacles...
and looking back, some of the events still make me feel angry, embarrassed, guilty, disappointed, troubled... while others, on the other hand, make me laugh.

1 of the most memorable incidents: i still cant believe i have to resort to threatening to break up with you, and cry my eyes swollen, JUST SO THAT YOU WILL *** ** * ******* (YOU know what im talkin about)
seriously, it was heartbreaking back then, but now, its hilarious. haha...

at this point, i have an xmas wish.
i hope u will take care of your health. i love spending my days with u, n i want it to carry on and on and on... thats y i hope that u stop smoking... take care of your health... and not take it for granted, or worse still, RUIN it! of course i dont expect u to stop altogether at once, but at least, try to cut down. honestly smoking doesnt bring any benefit anyway.

i hope u will cut down on ur computer games, because i KNOW u r made for bigger, better things.

and hmm 1 of my biggest xmas wishes is for my parents to somehow move into babys house, and for both families to live together! so that
-i wont be missing my family all the time while im staying over at babys place, or
-i wont be missing baby when im at my home and he's at his own home, or
-i wont have to keep travellin to and fro, moving bags of stuff here n there. arghs. im a lazy person!

anyway, another thing worthy of celebration: i passed my final theory test!
whee both btt and ftt passed on 1st attempt.
wait n see, i'll pass my practical test on 1st attempt as well! cannot break the chain!
im determinedddddddddd!
im quite confident of passing the tp test as i erm. ahem. already know how to drive, more or less. hehe.
was kinda surprised and thankful that i passed the ftt, cuz actually i only 'really' started studyin, 1 night before the test... and i calculated, there were like 9 questions which i kinda guessed the answers for, when if im not wrong, the maximum no. of incorrect answers allowed was only erm.. 5? so i was rather worried!
but o well, not to worry anymore!

iv been very happy ever since hols begun...
so...erm... for the time being, i shall not worry myself by thinkin about the frightful PAP smear!
so yes, im officially PROCRASTINATING!
lalala
jingle bells...~~~

zoukout

2008-12-15T10:29:00.000-08:00

week 1 of procrastination.
as u might have guessed...i have not (yet) gone for my PAP smear. =x
uhh uhh... i was busy! =x
really!
i did not even party during ZoukOut, i was workin -_-

was supposed to work for Ripcurl but last min changed to Chivas.
i miss my dear shyna! sad tt we're unable to work together for Zoukout for the 2nd consequetive year! i did not even get to see her at all, throughout the entire Zoukout! =(

but thankfully, i had my darling babes, hannah, amanda, donna, adeline and eveline at the Chivas Live booth!

and it was really fun workin w these amazing babes, as well as other staff, especially the big, muscular security personnel stationed at the entrance. everyone was so so nice, that's why i decided to stay on and continue to work till 5am, even though we were supposed to be let off at 3am. was really thankful that i had hannah with me yet again! she makes work less boring, more fun!

however, both of us got molested while walking from our booth to the other side of the party. 1 fuckin indian carressed my ass..!!! i SLAPPED his sweaty back and flashed my middle finger.
there were police stationed nearby, but i figured there was no point 'reporting' this to them, because in a matter of seconds, that indian bastard had already slipped away and blended into the crowd.
anyway, i believe such molesting cases are kinda inevitable in an environment like that, and i dont suppose the police would be able to do much about it. -_-

today i went to kbox with baby. our 1st time ktv-ing together in 1 year. how pathetic right. haha
oh well, he's not exactly the ktv-sort.
usually i go with my gal pals, like the jiemeis, queeine gang, or nus gang.
the most recent session was on the 2nd day of my holiday. - belle, xiao xuan, pauline and i went to top one ktv. really like that place!
after which, we headed to the arcade in bugis to play LOTS of silly games! it was so fun though. a great way to unwind and relax, after so much crazy mugging!
anyway, im really really really glad that exams are over, as im seriously enjoying every bit of my holidays... woohoo!!!

2008-12-08T11:18:00.000-08:00

people who are looking for my sales post, it's here!

http://scarletteshoppe.livejournal.com

first official collection gonna be up next week
for now, just make do with some 'mixture' items ya? =))

What's this you ask?
It's a PAP Smear, - something which al sexually active women above 21 should do annually.
it helps to detect any abnormalities.. and most importantly, CERVICAL CANCER. (anita mui was a sad example)

im someone who's rather health-conscious, and paranoid...
and i know i should do for the test, for my own good...
but im super nervous luhhhh!!!
maddie described the process to me... and it soundd scary! as though the doctor's gona pry open your vagina...
i mean...inserting a METAL speculum into the vagina to 'open it up'..... *faints*

but after reading through forums and doing some research, most ladies reported that it is a relatively fast (30 sec?) and pain-free process (unless you are too nervous, and tense up your muscles too much)
i know when im doing the test, i will tell myself, in my mind 'relax. its nothing luh. its just 30 seconds. most people said its painless. ok i am relaxed. relax. keep it up. relax. im a strong girl. ok im so relaxed. im ready for it.'
but sometimes, you simply cannot control or resist natural reflexes, despite how much you console/reassure yourself psychologically rite..?
i mean imagine someone's finger approaching your eye. no matter how hard u tell urself to keep that eye open, you will still blink eventually!
similarly, no matter how hard i try to relax those muscles....i believe they will eventually still tense up, when i sense that horrible metal thingy approaching...

ahhh help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i don't wanna like...avoid this test just because im afraid... it's not good!
so i know i am going for it, for sure. within these few days.
WISH ME LUCK.

2008-12-04T12:44:00.001-08:00

ATTENTION!
MY ONLINE SALES WILL BE MOVED TO

http://scarletteshoppe.livejournal.com/
(gawd i spent such a long time working on it and figuring livejournal out. arghs)

stay tuned for the 1st official collection to be launched by next week!
in the meantime please buy my random stuff (all brand new!)

Finally my exams are over!!!
i think i will do very BADLY.
but heck. this most important thing is IM FREE!!!
My next 'obstacle' - 19dec. final theory test.
i aim to pass on my 1st attempt. I MUST I MUST!
In the meantime, for tomorrow, its gonna be shopping, followed by KTV, followed by work at Supperclub, and lastly, a night at Zouk!
And also, im gonna be doing up my online shop... and also, plans of selling some stocks in retail shops in Bugis Junction and Far East! *** excited ***
Last but not least, i can't wait to get the inflatable swimming pool!
There's just so much to do! I love holidays!!!

sale

2008-11-28T06:17:00.000-08:00

HELLO.
im gonna sell off some stuff!
lazy to create a separate blogshop... will do so soon... in the meantime, pls put up with this!

ALL ITEMS ARE BRAND NEW, FOR SURE.
we've got more than 1 piece for most items, but stocks are limited.

click on the thumbnails for a better and clearer view of the images.

items to be sold on a 1st-to-pay basis, to account:
POSB Savings
037-34493-1

item will be mailed out 1 day after payment has been verified.

prices are inclusive of postage.
registered mail at an additional $2.40.

direct all questions/orders to ms.lady.scarlette@gmail.com

1. SOLD OUT! (might be able to restock, let me know if u wanna reserve a piece!)

inspired by Taiwan's PussyCatDolls range of sexy club wear

wear it as a top

or even as a dress
the halter strap comes in the form of silver chains! sexy~~
an inner tube is included!
$30.00

2.

we've got the EXACT same design, in white!

$25.00

3.

Exact same design without the black straps (i suspect the black straps in the above photos are actually the model's bra straps. haha)

available in grey and white
$28.00

4.

$23.00

5.

$21.00

6.

selling the one in grey
can be worn as a sweater, or even adress
high quality furrr
$30.00

7.

$30.00

8.

i personally love the thin straps of this one-piece office-lady dress, as well as the tieable ribbon at the bust which gives a pretty runched effect!
what's best, its silky and so nice to feel~~
available in blue as well.

exact same piece sold out in Agri's shop!
$26.00

9. SOLD OUT!

$28.00

10.

top: $28.00
bottom: $24.00

11.

isn't this so romantic and fairy-like? ;p
$30.00

12.

double-layered glittery tube/halter. ain't it special?

alternative way of wearing it as a tube by tying the ribbons backwards.
$28.00

13.

this is unlike the usual kimono-style tops that you see around.
it is made of thick, stretchy, glittery material!
furthermore, the prints are so artsy and sophisticated ;p
i'd say it's really a good buy.
$28.00

14.

this is so 'taiwanese' as well as kawaii! ;p

available in pink, white, blue, red, yellow, black

longer-sleeved version is available as well.
$20.00

15. SOLD OUT!

'KAI'-inspired. lovely lace details

pair it with jeans and boots!
$25.00

16.

$26.00

17.

this screams 'Sunshine Girl'!
simply love the colour!
*pic credits to Dainty Damsels
$26.00

18.

material is kinda velvety. lovely prints!
$25.00

19. SOLD OUT!

*pic credits to theblacksequin
$24.00

20.

satin halter/tube with sexy black lace details

wear it as a tube

or a halter.
pair it with a high waist pencil skirt!
$22.00

21.

*pic credits to MeltCouture
$22.00

2008-11-27T00:25:00.001-08:00

its funny how queenie and lena keep saying my bf is good.
and how the jiemeis also say that they like him.

when my gfs praise my bf, i somehow feel that they are being fooled by the 'mask' which veils his true self.
cuz he portrays a decent, gentlemanly, man of few words kinda image 'in public', but when we're at home... OMG... he can behave like a child luh!
like, take my hands/even legs n just...shake...?! etc
and how can i leave out the fact that he's so disgusting when i try to wake him up and he refuses to listen/even shows me attitude n glare at me etc etc...ARGHS
i really dislike the fact that hes extremely lazy. i mean im lazy myself, but i dont like my partner to b lazy as well! cuz that means we're juz gonna stay together and...rot together! hmm and get fat together. -_-

its funny cuz i just emailed a blogshop owner to inform her of my payment.
n i told her, since my bf helped me transfer, i couldnt take a snapshot of the receipt, and tt i could only provide her with details like, referance number, time, location, date of transfer etc etc. (kinda worried cuz alot of blogshops now require buyers to take a photo of the atm transfer receipt and email it to them, to prevent fraud)
and little did i expect her reply to be 'your bf is so sweet'
*stunned*

it was then that i felt kinda guilty, cuz before that, i was just having a mini quarrel w baby on msn.
me complainig about stuffs.
then this happened, and kinda reminded me that, hey... i should stop bein so demanding... and that my bf is in fact v nice to me...
and it also reminded me about the stuff that baby had done for me... how he took care of me on past occasions etc...
and it suddenly struck me... like y do i go compare myself to other girlfriends, and make myself envious of other people, when actually iv got something good myself...
i feel that im already considered rather fortunate...
and i think about what i have done for baby... and i come to the conclusion...
not much indeed. but baby has never complained about that before.

so yea, i guess in life, its easy to take *alot* of things for granted,
especially loved ones, parents, family members, friends etc (ironically its usually the people who r the closest to u!)
and sometimes we need little incidents here n there to remind us about the things in life which really matter... and that we should count our blessings...

after my exams i'll work abit more, and treat my parents to a nice meal. i mean, my parents are always eating 'simple' stuff... i wanna pamper them, take care of them, just like how they've always wanted to give me the best when i was young...
like, being super protective, always insisting on fetchin me to and from school (at that time i really wished they'd juz let me go home myself cuz i wanted to feel BIG n cool.), signing me up for ballet lessons, tuitions etc etc.
i really wish i was... rich... cuz i wanna make my parents happy... let them lead a comfortable life...
its so cliche yea? like everyone says that, every child in tv dramas say that...
but i guess thats one of the *few* things thats beautiful about us humans...we have feelings...and love... (well of course im aware not everyone is like this -_-)

sometimes when im walkin around on the streets and i spot something nice, in my heart i think to myself, i wish i could get that for mum!
but i cant afford it -_-

AHHHHH PLEASE MAKE ME RICHHHHH!!!
AHHHHH PLEASE MAKE ME RICHHHHH!!!
AHHHHH PLEASE MAKE ME RICHHHHH!!!
AHHHHH PLEASE MAKE ME RICHHHHH!!!

once again this post is super super random.
guess im really bored out by staying at home *trying* to study.
countdown to end of exams: 1 more paper, 7 more days!

2008-11-25T11:25:00.000-08:00

on saturday, i worked with 3 of my favourite girls
janice, queenie and lena
it was a mini, casual, fun event whereby the four of us had to come up with a lityle catwalk performance, followed by a short photo-taking session.
it was hilarious cuz the catwalk was pretty screwed up, like we forgot about most of the things that we had agreed on during the planning stage...
and everything turned out rather... impromptu... lols
ahh wadeva. it was easy money, funny, and great to work with darling babes.

after that we headed down on singapore expo for...guess wad...Energy + Lollipop concert.
cuz queenie had free tickets. so...y not...
before the concert started,we were sayin stuff like... we're not acually very into Energy n stuff...
and in fact, that is the truth! i seldom watch tv, i have no 'idols', i hate boybands/childish stuff etc etc
but after Energy's performance, we had the chance to go backstage to meet the band, as queenie managed to get us VIP seats/passes
and everything changed after we snapped pics with the band and shook hands with them.
we came out of the backstage squealing n exclaiming, "ooo! they r so goodlooking!!! ooo they shaked my hand!!!' (yea, including myself)
gawd. seriouly. im disgusted by my own behaviour. lol
well anyway, we were totally uninterested in Lollipop lar. bunch of xiao di dis making noise. oops sorry if i offended any of their young fans, but they're totally not my cup of tea luhs.
at least Energy's dance moves r not bad. teehee.

anyway after that, we headed down to Zouk to join ben and his friends.
didnt dance at all cuz ben n gang stayed at members the whole time.
zzz. i miss phuture! i miss rnb music! (even though im currently into trance hehe)
after that, they head over to one of ben's friend's house, which is heard, is as big as Wisma?? 0_o
but i did not join em as i had full-day work on sunday, and an exam on monday, and i had not studied for it AT ALL.
hoped to study at least a lil bit when i reached home, but obviously i didnt.
grrr

then came sunday. worked from 11am to 8pm at kallang leisure park, for Full Throttle, Mocca-nival thingy...? not sure whats the name of the event
but i just knew it was DAMN HOT!
iv been taking whitening pills, and after soooo long, and soooo much effort, i see just that little bit of improvement...
and it just takes 1 day under the scorching sun and POOF. all my effort gone. arghs. unfair!
it was damn tiring workin outdoors cuz somehow the sun tends to drain ur energy...?
but fortunately, it started to pour halfway through the event!
and we had no choice but to hide inside a car for shelter until the rain stopped.
SHIOK! ended up falling asleep for about an hour ++ inside the car.
somehow my events-colleagues are rather fascinated at the fact that i can sleep anytime anywhere... lol

after work, i shared a cab with nicole to babys place, with KFC which i bought 4 the big pig.
but i was so blur that i left the KFC on the cab when i alighted,
and had to trouble nicole to make a u-turn back to pass it to me...
she refused to accept the $2 which i tried to push to her to compensate for the detour
and that made me feel so so guilty
she's such a sweet and good-natured babe, definitely hope to work w her again someday!

as expected, after being under the sun the whole day, after having the KFC,
instead of studying, i fell aslp, all the way till the next morning...
meaning i went for my exam 90% unprepared
i guess i did not take it seriously becuz i thought, ah MCQ...i should be able to smoke through...?
but i was so wrong.
cuz there were 75 questions in all, and i guessed like 95% of it
i finished (guessing) the paper within like 30min, but we werent allowed to leave the exam hall within the 1st hour, so i kinda rested my head on the desk and fell aslp until students were allowed to leave.
im sure im gonna b so screwed.
but ahh. i dont know why but i dont hav any energy to care... =x
anyway its already been done. too late for any regrets now.

last paper on 4dec, and im determined to stay home all the way from now until then
and study my ass off
i have to do well for this module, to kinda like, make up for the other module which i screwed up.
its gonna b so torturous i know...
seriously look forward to partying, hangin w my friends, gg out w baby, executing some of the plans iv got in my head, etc etc...
it will be all over...in like...9 days...?
gambatte~~~

2008-11-19T05:47:00.000-08:00

i love my baby because he walked right into my lecture theatre, to pass my MC to the lecturer on my behalf...

i love my baby because he accompanied me to sakae sushi so that i could enjoy my fave sushi buffet, although he hates jap food...

i love my baby because he puts in the effort to fetch me here n there, even though i know he's lazy/reluctant sometimes...

i love my baby because he remembered some of my casual words, took me out for a nice seafood dinner + a super funny Madagascar movie last night...
the past week had been long and torturous - rushing projects, mugging for exams, feeling all stressed up...
but baby you made it all easier to get through...
thank u thank u~~~

old times

2008-11-13T09:22:00.000-08:00

this is totally random but.
my dog has been with me ever since i was in... like...primary 3?
now im 21. and she's still with me. wad a sturdy old dog. nice.

back then i was still living in Katong, living directly opposite my primary school...

my bedroom was carpetted...in light pink...i had a pink study desk, wardrobes in shades of pink, and of course, a pink bed (well it all came in 1 set u see)
i seriously think xiaxue would love my ex-bedroom.

the flooring in the living room was made of dark grey granite tiles...
there was a little porch, where i used to ride my bicycle round and round in circles looking like an idiot.

i remember the neighbours... most of em...
1 of my neighbour's wife passed away in the Silk-Air MI 185 plane crash unfortunately...
1 of my neighbour's son, so coincidentally studied in the same junior college as me, several years after we moved out...

1 of the neighbours who lived just beside us, became enemies with us, and i vaguely remember a quarrel which took place. - it was a heated verbal argument between the adults, and i was sent to my room. all i could do was watch from upstairs, through the window directly above all the 'action'.
the argument escalated, and neighbours from other units came and tried to mediate.
i felt like i had to... do something... yet i was so young, i was powerless...
in my despair, i found some newspapers, crushed them into balls, and threw them down, aiming at the nasty neighbours.
but the wind blew them away in the opposite direction, and no one really noticed my tiny little presence.
oh well, powerless.
things would be different, if it happened today, oh i swear.
u wanna bully my parents? no way in hell.
today, id bloody scream at stupid kids who abuse animals, like use stick to poke cat etc etc. i hate people who fucking abuse animals, and i wont hesitate to tell him/her off.

***

oh well, the silly things i used to do.

***

i remember there was once, my dad took my dog to school while fetching me home, and all my classmates came over to play with it.
i suddenly asked my dad 'will chloe die...?'
and 1 random girl replied 'of course she will die lah!'
i mean like, DUH, everything dies, but back then, i dunno y but i felt insulted and kinda angry over what she said.
i guess this is what we call...denial...?

***

i remember we'd randomly get called to the dentist for checkups,
and i seriously hated hated hated it.
the sights, the SOUNDs, and the SMELL of the dental clinic REALLY traumatized me.
there was once i got called to go for checkup, and while making my way from the classroom, down the walkway, past the canteen...
i actually sneaked off to make a phone call to my mum, and BEGGED her to come down to school, refusing to tell her wad was wrong...
since my house was just opposite, my mum came down...
and when she realised wad was going on, she dragged me to the clinic, where i got reprimanded by her, the nurses, and even the teacher. ZZZ. made me hate the whole dental checkup thingy even more!

***

i remember in upper primary, when my boobs had started to develop a little...
my mum forced me to wear baby-bras which she had bought me, instead of the singlets that i'd been wearing prior to that...
and the baby-bras disturbed me because, they had a little bit of padding, and when i put my shirt on, there were 2 slight 'bumps' at my chest????

at that time, i thought it was disgusting to have boobs, and i really really thought it was 'cool' to be flat. haha
so everyday, after my mum dressed me up, id secretly change out of the baby-bra, and put on my usual singlet, while she was preparing/changing herself... and then hide the baby-bra somewhere.
this continued for a while, until 1 day, my mum finally noticed that the bra which she had supposedly put on for me earlier in the morning, was mysteriously lying around somewhere at home...
she then came to school to 'confront' me.
sibei fierce.

i remember we were having a reading period in class, and there wasn't any teacher present.
my mum walked in, with her gaze directed straight at me.
i felt tension building up as the class quietened and watched the drama that was about to erupt, between mother and daughter. and my heart began to pound faster and faster.
she pulled out the baby-bra that i was supposed to wear, and there were soft gasps, as classmates wondered WTH was happening?!
then she said something like, 'very clever ah? what r u wearing now? shame shame anot? neh-neh grow already still dun wanna wear bra ah? not shy ah? GO AND CHANGE!'
a super embarrassing and humiliating 'speech'.
it really really left an impact on me, im sure u can tell, judging from how i can remember all the details? haha
i remember after it happened, i asked my best friend, "still wanna be my friend or not?"
LOL!!!
simply because i felt that i was humiliated to such an extent that everyone would find me disgusting and not wanna b my friend.
but thankfully, ever since i was a young child, i learnt that some friendships are stronger that what u think, and it warms my heart to know that i have some very close friends who have been by my side for many, many years. =)
anyway, i was studying in an all-girls school, so not that bad la. haha
and in case u were wondering, today, i like boobs, i love boobs, and no longer do i wanna be flat, of course! haha.

***

i used to worry that my parents would die, each time they went out of the house, each time they dropped me off at school, each time they left me, in general.
so, i thought, in order to kinda, prevent that from happening, i could say a little 'chant' everytime i parted ways with them.

- rule no. 1. i believed u should never say BYEBYE, cuz it sounds like its THE END. so i'd always say SEE YOU LATER DADDY/MUMMY

- rule no. 2. i believed in attaching a little prayer. and somehow it settled on ZHU NI PING AN WU SHI

- rule no. 3. i belived that if i repeated the chant as many times as possible, it'd be more powerful. so i'd repeat ZHU NI PING AN WU SHI a few times in a row. but that sentence was too long lah. so gradually i started repeating just the first word - ZHU ZHU ZHU ZHU. wth so lame!!!

- rule no. 4. i believed that after i got sick and tired, and felt that id repeated sufficient numbers of ZHUs, i had to round off the whole chant by repeating the fact that, they will not die, and that i'd see them later. so the last sentence would be, once again, SEE YOU LATER.

***

so to give an example of how my little hilarious chant sounded like, here it is:
SEE U LATER DADDY/MUMMY, ZHU NI PING AN WU SHI, ZHU ZHU ZHU ZHU .... X 10... SEE YOU LATER!
*rolls on floor laughing*
i used to be damn cute larrr!
if my future kid does that to me... omg... lol...i will juz... run over and hug him/her tightly in my arms, and smile with joy =D

lastly, i was also quite a scary/sadistic kid...
i dunno y but i had some satanic beliefs inside me... =x
i believed that, in exchange for good things to happen to my parents, and for them to be safe,
i had to hurt myself.
like, for every bad thing that happened to me, something good would happen to my parents.
so, id do silly things like, put my finger by the doorframe, then kinda like, slam the door on my finger so that i would hurt.
or i would simply,not breathe. i used to hold my breath for as long as i could, thinking that by inflicting pain/discomfort onto myself, God or whoever, would bless my parents in return.
how sick is that??!!
anyway, im glad i didnt do anything too drastic or scary, like slit my wrists or wad.. *gasp*.. and that i grew up becoming a pretty much normal (hmm?) person...
but isnt it nice to see that since i was young, i was already filial, and willing to sacrifice myself in order to protect my parents???

im sure if my parents know of all the thoughts that go through my head...
they'd feel like they're the luckiest parents in the whole world...
but obviously they dont lar. whole day nag at me. arghss..
and iv never really told them about all these...
mayb i should uh?
or mayb i should just give them my blog link?
hahas

anyway, super duper random post.
back to f*ckin studyin. -_-

2008-11-11T21:45:00.000-08:00

UBU Blues =(
UBU stands for Uber Big Ulcer
its on the top left side of my lip, and its in such a 'strategic location', that every single movement i make, will cause it to sting, even drinking water, lickin my lips, and smiling too widely.
!!!
i always feel hungry, but i hardly am able to eat because each bite that i take requires so much physical pain, and on top on that, mental strength.
explanation? before i send the spoon into my mouth, i muz mentally prepare myself for the pain that i will experience when the food comes into contact with the ulcer, and then take a deep breath + a leap of faith before taking the bite. or, i try to think of new eating positions whereby i can send the food in, without touching that spot, such as tilting my head, taking mini-bites etc, but to no avail. -_-

the worst thing happened last night, when i worked a an event at Garibaldi. we were supposed to be formal and polite throughout the event, but once it was over, the Italian managers led us into the kitchen and said 'Let's Party!!!'
i really like the working atmosphere in Garibaldi, as all the staff seem like a happy family, and the managers are so funny, constantly entertaining their staff and everyone else. how nice.
hence, i did not wanna be a spoilsport when they passed us tequila shots and urged us to drink up. but i was really reluctant in my heart, because, as u know, tequila shot glases are like, lined with SALT.
and... salt + ulcer = ultimate killer experience
and... indeed it was -_-
but today however, my ulcer did recover slightly, so its not too bad uh.

i guess i will be pretty depressed for the coming weeks, as it is, yet again, the annual exam mad rush.
website + brochure due on 21st Nov
3215 MCQ exam on 27th Nov
3224 Essay exam on 4th Dec
actually it aint that bad cuz everything's rather spread out, and iv got a couple of non-examinable modules, not to mention of course, im also taking 1 less module this sem.
but but but the website n brochure thingy is really killin mee~
good luck to all who are in the same boat.

wan

2008-11-07T19:52:00.000-08:00

had lunch with the gang, xiao xuan, belle, pauline, and even elvyn at Munchie Monkeys yesterday.
the last time i visited that place was in year 1 or year 2 (1st semester)... how time flies
how i miss the times when either me, or xiao xuan were still staying in hall
the 4 of us could just roam around school, have our annual "Friendship Day" where we'd order Pizza and make a din in the lounge, and most importantly, have a place to slack and SLEEP during breaks or after school!
with a hostel room on campus, all 4 of us would still see each other frequently, and watch dvds, chill together in the room, despite having totally different schedules, and not seeing each other in school at all.
without a hostel, its so hard for us to come together, especially when we're no longer taking like, 3 to 4 common modules.

but im rather thankful that last semester, i happened to find a khaki/bro to slack and chill together in school etc.
its funny how we were the 'odd' ones out in a project group - the other 3 were like, quiet, nerdy, hardworking, studious... u get the drift...
whereas my pal here, had couple of piercings on his face, often came into class with half-opened eyes, wears rocker-style cuffs etc...
before we were assigned into the same group, never expected that id someday be close to this guy but i guess this is what people call 'fate'.

im also happy that this semester, i managed to meet a group of very fun-loving and wonderful project mates...and i think we did rather well for our project presentation. cheers!
im happy that 2 of my major projects have been submitted. IM DONE WITH THEM DAWGGGGG!!!
i had so much fun opening my folders, and deleting all the related information, documents and picture files accumulated for the project. out out out of my life!!!
im also done with tutorials! no more tutorials! whee!
i do not attend lectures at all, and i attend tutorials just cause attendance is marked.
now, with the cessation of tutorials, i officially do not have to go to school anymore. whee!!!
however, exam dates are drawing near... the season of mad-rush and extreme mugging yet again.
i don't know about others, but i really hate being a student. then again, when i begin working, i bet i'll say that i miss being a student.
but when u work, at least u get $ what... hahas

anyway, i had the honour of celebrating wan's bday yesterday, just a quiet simple one, with only me and her.
we went to Top One Ktv, and had so much fun singing non stop, just like the old OLD times.
i remember in seconday school, we used to keep going to kbox every weekend!
however, as we get older, so many things change, really.
im now like, totally different from what i was, from a mere 1 year ago? i dont know why it is so, but for me, i realised that, from phase to phase, for example, sec sch -> jc -> uni, i change drastically.
i was once quiet, insecure, innocent, clueless -> then i became rebellious and started dyeing hair etc -> then i became a strong christian, and totally became a kind-hearted, optimistic young girl -> then i entered jc, joined rockclimbing, and
became super motivated, mentally and physically strong, outgoing, cheerful etc -> then i became hooked onto clubbing n partying -> then i came out to work, and became fake and materialistic haha -> and up till now, i've become the sick-of-clubbing, lazy, unmotivated student with lousy grades. i feel like im no longer the nice, holy, good-natured young girl i used to be. i can be aggressive, fierce, rude etc...

speaking of which, a couple of dirty men pissed me off SO much last night, that i flashed my _|_ sign at them. yes it was that bad.
after our ktv session, we headed to arab street for shisha.
its weird that even though i was dressed in normal denim shorts and long-sleeved top, some ang mohs and indian men still try to be funny.
i seldom frequent arab street hence, correct me if im wrong, but, issit the culture at that place to like, try to talk to random strangers who walk past your table?
anyway that wasn't a big deal
what was of a greater concern was, this indian guy seated diagonally opposite from us, who kept on staring at our direction, making us feel extremely uncomfortable.
every single time i glanced at his direction, i noticed he was looking back. so i told wan to glare at him, both of us, at the same time, to force him to turn away. but guess what, he continued staring! wtf?!
when he finally left and walked past our seat, he had the audacity to raise his eyebrows and smile... EEEEEEEKKKKSSSSS!!! btw both of us were glaring when he did that. wad a moron?

felt much more comfortable after he left.
we noticed another indian guy who blew out smoke, as though he was a dragon blowing out fire!
wan and i then tried to "dragonize" as well, by attemping to imitate his style by inhaling deeply
soon after we sucked in, and puffed out so much air... i began to feel unwell =x
super bloated, and i felt like puking??? damn im so weak!!!
so dad came down to give us a lift home.

as i was feeling really unwell, i lay down on the backseat. but initially my legs were not laid flat on the seat, hence i think 2 men from a taxi beside us, noticed my leg sticking out, and they actually stood up in their taxi, so that they could see my
face/body!
they even told the taxi drive to drive forward/closer to our car.
it was already bad enough that they were staring, and invading my privacy, but they even had those cheeky expression on their faces!
AND the worst thing - they're like lao ah peks lar!!! seriously, how would they feel if other people did such a thing to their daughters or grand daughters?! wtf wtf wtf!!! i was SO angry!
so i sat up immediately, and GLARED at them. i thought, id just let it pass if they quit staring after i sat up.
but they continued staring and smiling, refusing to look away even though i was glaring at them with such intensity that i felt that my eyeballs were about to roll out.
and the worst thing was that, the traffic light refused to turn green, for what seemed like eternity, so they really got on my nerves...
...and i flashed my middle finger.
but that amused them even more! their grins grew wider, and one of them even pointed his middle finger back at me, with a big smile on his face, like ronald mcdonald.
at that point i felt as though i was gonna explode, but what could i do? it was really stupid of me to point my middle finger, cuz its actually a handsign thats demeaning to females. its so unfair. someone should really come up with a handsign which carries a meaning that is degrading towards males.
but anyway, i felt super super super angry, pissed off, objectified, victimized etc... i mean, this is singapore...???
and, as mentioned previously, i was dressed in normal shorts and a long sleeved top
are those old men so sexually deprived that they get turned on, just by looking at the sleeping position of a clothed girl? wad losers!
and what disgusted me the most is that they were old men.
simply because no matter how much i change as a person, iv always been someone who's very sympathetic towards the elderly. that has never changed.
when i see old people working as cleaners, or begging by the roadside etc, my mood gets affected.
but last night, i was disappointed that some of these old people, are actually like THAT.

but i refuse to let all these spoil my day. i had a blast with wan, and that's the thing that really matters.
i really enjoy and appreciate times spent with old friends of so many years, whom you're so comfortable with, that just by sitting down and chilling together, you feel like, it's an accomplished, meaningful session.
i love u wan, happy birthday! =)

previously i also attended my jiemei bree's poolside birthday party, whereby she got SO wasted, and had no choice but to call off the clubbing session that was scheduled after the party, and head home to rest instead.
she was totally hyper and cute when she was high. but kinda scary as well cuz she was raising her voice? hehehe
but anyway we made up for her birthday clubbing session by having a fun Halloween night celebration.
i dressed up as lara croft. lol! TJ was so sweet to lend me his seemingly-real gun that made a very shocking 'piak' noise when u pull the trigger. i havent returned it to him, so it's still with me. and 2 mornings in a row, baby called out my name from behind, and when i turned around, he pulled the trigger at me and started laughing after seeing my startled/shocked expression. like ERRRRRRR... -_- idiot!

anyways, janice dressed up as a bunny
pamela and JT wore masks, in the style of the mask of zorro
brina and her friends were dressed up as all-black angels with wings (for the guys), and all white angel with wings (for her)
alan did not dress up. lol
baby decided on his outfit a couple of hours before the party. he said he'd cut out a huge homer simpson face from his tshirt, mount it onto a board, and wear it as a mask.
but he fell asleep, instead of getting down to work on his mask. arghssss!!!
so in the end, he wore a smart white coat, wore sunglasses, and put on the white angel wings which i used for my birthday party and dumped in the car thereafter.
it was totally unplanned, but somehow he happened to fit into bree's black/white angel gang!
u noe, dressing up as an angel is actually a pretty common practice, nothing absolutely amazing about it. but when ur talking about 1 group of angels walking about together that night, people started to want to stop and take photos with them. hehe
i liked the whole atmosphere that night. people were happy, friendly, and we were surrounded by excitement, music, laughter... nice~
but we did not wanna go somewhere too crowded, especially after queueing outside Attica for half an hour in a line which did not seem to move, so we headed to Bellini Room, where there was live band and performances, rnb music to dance to in between sets, and SEATS! it was nice, especially with all my bestest pals with me =)
when the song "Low" played, and came to the part that went "Apple bottom jeans, boots with the furrrr...", janice and i were laughing at bree, cuz she was wearing white furry boots to match her angel outfit. hehe

wan is celebrating her bday at zouk tonight...not sure if i should go cuz iv got a small exam on monday? =x
decisions decisions decisions...

2008-10-26T15:42:00.000-07:00

was surfing youtube for inspiration for an advertisement for Tiger Beer, and i came across this....

Oh dear, that's really sad...
imagine that happening to yourself...
how would you react???
=x
scary scary...
finding out that your other half is cheating on yo is already bad enough,
but witnessing everything with your own eyes...
can't imagine that!

found this as well:

gawd, i find it SO insulting and offensive (as a female)
-_-

last but not least (or rather, saving the best for the last)
this is fckin funny ;p

and erm, despite watching vids after vids,
i STILL haven't got any inspiration or ideas for the ad
HELP!

and did i mention that my biological clock is totally screwed up?
i woke up at 9pm today 0_o

iv been sleeping at ridiculous timings like, 9am, 12noon...
and waking up after 3pm...

save me save me

sushi

2008-10-22T12:48:00.000-07:00

the thing about tuesdays is that i always have project meeting at 10am, followed by a break from 12 - 6, until my 3125 tutorial.
@!$#%**(^!@#$

but the most recent tuesday was fine.
had fun at proj meeting, played a freaky game www.hotel626.com with my mates and i screamed when the ghost popped up. and we were like seated along a walkway. -_-
then attended a talk by Kumar. initially i only went because attendance was to be taken.
but i turned out to enjoy the session alot. he is so goddam funny, yet honest as well. it was a fun and motivating session.
then i headed to vivo for an appointmet, and before that, i decided to grab a casual snack...perhaps a plate of Sushi or two...
however, it turned out to become a sushi buffet, as i simply could not resist it when the waiter said 'there's buffet from 3-6pm'
n its like only $13.90 for students, how worthwhile!
u enjoy a complimentary red plate dish, a bowl of seaweed udon, and mochi for dessert, on top of the unlimited plates of sushi u can grab! ahh~

i did not really eat alot luh rite?
did not even take the red plate dish.
cuz my favourites are the 'cheap' kinds of sushi like, the egg, crabstick etc...haha
and i usually order more of the non-sushi items like fried scallops + mayo, fried crabsticks, fried potato, CHA SOBA etc...
i really luv eating at sushi restaurants, cuz i like the atmosphere, like seeing the plates move around haha.

oh by the way i had the buffet with "myself".
i was sitting by a full-length window at the corner, enjoying the peace and serenity of the quiet place, and thinking of lots of stuff.
thinking of how i've changed so drastically, thinking of the wrong things i've done, thinking of people who are constantly at the back of my mind, but whom i fail to let them know that, 'you're important to me'...
life is so hectic that i overlook and fail to appreciate or treasure the things that matter, and its only during times like this, when u get to sit down alone and reflect, that u get reminded of what life SHOULD really be about, and decide to put in effort to do something about it...
i realised also, that i need to CALM DOWN. all the stress in my life lately, - work, never-ending deadlines etc, have made me such a tensed and easily-agitated person.
i'm sure that can be seen, from the tone and mood of some of my previous posts.
but i really do not know how to relax, when i've got 2 very very tight major project deadlines, apart from 2 other smaller scale ones, approaching me altogether.
and i have to work. how can i not? it's no longer about getting some extra pocket money to finance my online shopping (arghs), but i've now got responsibilities, and instalments to pay every month?
regret getting the car, but i really eally really have to thank baby for paying for all maintenance and petrol costs...
I FEEL STRESSED

Work, at the float at marina bay, some Singapore Indulge thingy...?
it was a very 'cultural' kinda event, with people in ethnic costumes, stilt-walkers etc etc, and it was very colourful and vibrant... nice~
this is a hat, made of very delicious, super-sweet cakes!

October is such a quiet month...
friends, ppl, whoever, i need more jobs pls pls!
also, im thinking of alternative ways of earning $
and what im gonna do is to sell my wardrobe. yup, majority are like unworn-n-i-doubt-i-will-wear, so might as well.
hoping to check out the response, and get used to the whole mailing thing, then consider setting up a real online shop...
we'll see, im thankful i have the full support from baby and friends.

last but not least, i can't wait for Brina's birthday party on Saturday, and of course, HALLOWEEN! woots!
will be checking out the costume shop soon!

2008-10-16T07:23:00.000-07:00

last afternoon at about 2pm, baby tried waking me up to go out...
but i was so tired, i said, y not go out in the evening instead, and i fell back asleep.
and it all happened during my deep sleep...
right now im thinking, if i had just woken up, gone out... nothin would have happened at all.
but i guess God has a way of making it such that, you cant hide something from someone forever. someday, ur secrets will be revealed.
and baby found out my secret while i was fast asleep.

the next thing i knew, i was being driven back home.
it was the most painful journey...
in my mind i was thinking... this is the last time i will be sitting in the car, with baby by my side...
while i was leaving his house, as i walked down the staircase, opened the sliding door and heard the mini alarm sound, saw the gate opening... all i could think of was... it's the last time im gonna see these, last time im gonna be here...
in the car, i wanted to look at baby, i wanted to take my last glimpses of him... i was afraid i might miss the way he looks, if i didnt grab the chance to see more of him when i still could... when he was still physically beside me... but... i felt ashamed to even look at him.
the journey was silent, with only the sound of the songs in our CD playing...
somehow this time, when i listened to the lyrics, they sounded especially depressing, and they seemed to be describing our situation and emotions even more than usual. the lyrics seemed to be talking to me.
i sat, hugging my belongings, mind filled with flashes of past memories, overcome with tears throughout the whole journey.

even though we've been together for close to 11 months, i sometimes still do not dare to gaze deep into baby's eyes or look at him for long. my heart will still skip a beat.
so i always snap photos of him while we're sitting opposite each other, waitin for food, or when he is in deep sleep, with his mouth hanging wide open etc.
occasionally when im bored while tavelling, id open my handphone picture folder, and look at these photos. they bring a smile to my face.
however last night, i was looking at these photos, but tears were flowing down my eyes instead.
little did i know that these photos will also serve another function - for me to be able to still look at baby, when he's gone, when he's no longer mine, when it's all over between us, when i'll no longer get a chance to see him in the flesh again.

y did it become this way?
we were supposed to go out, have the macaroni n cheese i was craving for, and have a great time...
i admit i only have myself to blame
but i felt angry at fate. i felt like i was being played by it.
why bring back something of the past, to haunt me right now, when things are so smooth-sailing between us?
it's unfair.
i daresay, for the past few months, iv really been a rather good girlfriend. and that we both are enjoying the simple, blissful life that we share together. it's such a pity to have it all ruined because of something which i did, so long ago. i dont even feel like it was 'ME' who did what i did back then... i've changed so much... i changed so much after realising that baby truly cares for me, and i have to treasure him and treat him well...

i know, because these are my feelings inside, but how do i tell it to baby, in words? there was so much in my mind, but i just couldnt translate my feelings into words, for i felt that, anything i attempted to say, would seem like such a desperate attempt to save my ass, i felt that had no right to request for another chance, i felt that my sin was so horrible that i deserved to just accept my sentence without grudging. that's why i silently obeyed, when baby said. 'Let's break up. i'll send you home.'

fortunately for me, baby is not the type of guy who'll ignore your calls etc when he's upset... he is willing to listen to explanations...
after a conversation on msn, he said he's confused, and that he'd have to think it through, and let me know of his final decision the following day.
i felt that i still had a chance, but i didnt have high hopes...
i couldn't sleep the entire night, played Audition for at least 10 hours i guess, all the way till 11am -_-
tried to call baby to wake him up for school, as well as ask him what's his decision, but he did not pick up my countless phone calls.
the uncertainty was killing me...

to quote our words during the msn conversation:

me:
but do u bear to let it all go? the times we spent watching dramas and tv shows together like old ladies, the times we order fastfood delivery and pig out, the times we sit beside each other and get lost in our own games in the virtual world, the times we talk and laugh about silly things...
it took us so much time and effort to build up the chemistry, and feel at total ease with each other... don't u find that it's a pity to let it all go cuz of a single incident that happened so long ago?

baby:
yes i will miss all that, and i find that it's a pity too. i can forgive what you did and understand why you did it, but next time when i look at you, i will be reminded of it. i'm not sure if i can do it.

me:
can we at least try?

baby:
but what's the point of getting back with a girl, if in the end we might just break up again?

even married couples break up and get divorced. even more so for boyfriends/girlfriends. nothing is really everlasting... it is not so much of the end result, but as long as a couple shared happy times during the period that they were together, to me, it's worth it, it's memorable. why force yourself to abandon the happiness that you enjoy now, just because you think that it will not last? ever since months ago when i promised you that i'd change, can you not admit that i'm really different? most of the time i'm at your place, you pick me up after school/work/wherever im at, and i don't even hav much time and contact with other people. my life has become entwined with yours, and that is the way i intend to keep it going, in future, if you decide to give us one...

fortunately for me, i have SCV to thank.
when i finally got through to him, baby said that he happened to watch 3 dramas which portrayed the idea that, what the current situation is now, and what happenes in future, is more important than what had happened in the past...
and he got influenced...

and here we are, back together again...
sigh. i admit this isn't the 1st time i've been blessed with another chance...
and, how lucky i am, to have a bf like baby...
i will definitely treasure the confidence and love baby has for me...
thank you dear...

2008-10-09T10:42:00.000-07:00

Bree's dog :)
*love love*

2008-10-02T06:15:00.000-07:00

HECTIC!

26th sep

11am - 6pm: Motorshow

6pm - 830pm: rush to baby's house to sleep

9pm - 4am: Amberlounge

27th sep

4am - 9am: rush home to bathe and sleep

11am - 6pm: Motorshow

6pm - 1030pm: rush to baby's house to sleep

11pm - 6am: Amberlounge

28th sep

6am - 9am: rush home to bathe and (hardly able to) sleep

11am - 6pm: Motorshow

6pm - 11pm: rush to baby's house to sleep (OVERSLEPT by a bit. excusable right? i mean, at this point of time, after 2 days of hardly sleepin, im already all drained!)

11pm: rushed down to work, but along the way, i turned to Capitol building to pick Eva up, as she couldnt get a taxi. for the past 2 days, the cab driver dropped me off at city hall mrt, and i had to walk all the way to millenia tower/conrad hotel, due to the stupid roadblocks. this night, however, me and Eva wanted to try stopping somewhere nearer to our destination save us the hassle of walking/half-running in high heels! however, the cab driver went round and round and round, tried his very best, but couldnt find a suitable place to stop, once again, due to stupid roadblocks everywhere!

12+pm: reached Amberlounge, got fired on the spot. wad the fuck? the stupid client didnt even bother to hear our explanation, and just fired us in like, 10 seconds? bloody bitch. the cab fare cost us $20+ lor. im pissed about being fired not because im hard up about working for her 1.5k-per-entrance-ticket stupid event, but because she intentionally waited for us to reach the place then fire us, rather than informing our agent earlier that we're fired and we need not bother to go down. yea i do agree and admit that its our fault for being late, YES YES, but i think the way she handled it was abit overboard? like surely there were alternative solutions? dock 2 hours off our salary? why go to such an extent of firing us? to think she was initially so friendly and warm, praising us for our good performance the past 2 nights etc... FAKE, all FAKE!

The client, Rachel Moroney was rumoured to fire a fellow female friend who was working for the event as well. Reason? This girl almost got raped, and was punched in the stomach when she resisted. Rather than protecting her girls and being a responsible client, Rachel fired her based on the grounds that she was creating a scene. not sure how true this is, but iv seen some rumours spreading around on the net, regarding this issue. Well, Rachel is a woman herself, and it is a shame that she does not defend the rights and honour of fellow females, and she seems to have a hobby of firing people? *rolls eyes* ah whatever. im just glad that the 3 hectic days are OVER OVER OVER!

What else took place over this span of time that i was MIA:

- Super Imports Night. worked for Sonax/Broquet

P.S this beautiful Nissan Skyline at MB Motors stole my heart! Unlike normal cars, it's matt black, just like a Batman car! ooowhheeeee~!! there were many many other beautiful cars like lamborghinis, lotus, etc etc, and also beautifully-decorated vehicles... and of course, the gorgeous import/local models!

I only worked because the night before the event at 5am, miyo asked me to replace her as she was not feeling well. Since i was free, i decided to help my friend out. However, at work (Friday), this girl who's sorta 'in charge', Jessica, asked me to work on Saturday as well. i said i couldnt, as i had to attend Yii Yin's birthday party at 6pm at HarbourFront. But Jessica was persistent. She pleaded with me to work, even if it was only a half-shift, from 12pm to 5pm. But i declined, because i really did not wanna rush about. Even after that, she KEPT ON pleading with me, using terms like 'help me out la', 'i got no more girls' etc etc. Soft-heartd as i am, i agreed reluctantly.

However, after thinking it through during work, i decided to tell her, after 1 hour, that i actually really really do not wanna work, and that i hope that she will not force me any further. Then she said, 'ehhh! u promised just now already leh! how can last minute back out de??!!' I mean like wtf, couldnt she see that i was super reluctant, and i agreed only because she wouldnt stop bugging me? and cmon, the reason i was working on Friday was because i was HELPING a friend, and the initial arrangment was for me to replace my friend for that ONE day only, im not OBLIGED to help you work for the remaining days! But she made it seem like i owed her. And i was unhappy about that, and i saw no point in reasoning with her because... honestly, she's like... aunty aunty pattern, dun-give-face type of person. So i talked to the client, when he happened to come into the storeroom at the same time that i was in there, resting. I told him " im really very sorry that im unable to help you out tomorrow, as i really have something on. but if ur really in need of someone, i can help you look for a girl' To my surprise, the client was cool, and wasn't desperate like Jessica at all. He said, sure, and handed me his namecard.

From what Jessica told me, even though she's 'in charge' of finding the girls, she ain't cutting any commission from their salary. So i thought it would be OK for me to recommend a girl directly to the client, since Jessica wouldnt be disadvantaged in any way, right? Furthermore i ain't cutting any commission myself either, just thinking of HELPING the client find a girl for his booth, sincerely. Heard from Huirong that Chanelle was interested in working for SIN, so i passed Huirong the client's number, and after that, the involved parties took over the planning/discussions. That was the end of my role, i felt good that i attempted to help someone, i felt good that work had ended, i went on with my own life.

However, few days after, i received a nasty phone call from Jessica. Apparently, the client decided to hire Chanelle to work. Good thing right? But Jessica said : " ehhhh why you go and intro client what 1.73m girl, client see already, sure wanna hire right? then you liddat hor, you spoil my plans leh! client see chanelle already then dun wanna hire my girls leh! " After i heard this, i immediately felt damn WTF.

firstly, your initial concern was that u had NO GIRL to work at the booth, that's y you begged me to work on Saturday, despite my countless declines. now, i helped u find a girl, and you are complaining that because of my girl, your client wont want YOUR GIRL????!!! so where did these 'YOUR GIRLS' SUDDENLY pop out from?

ok mayb you're pissed because the girl selected to work was not 'under' you, but recommended by me. but the whole point is, I DON'T STAND ANYTHING TO GAIN FROM RECOMMENDING THIS GIRL, and u TOLD ME, you weren't cutting any commission from your girls as well, so what's the issue here??!! it doesnt matter from whose side this girl came from, right? UNLESS u were lying that u didnt cut commission luh? cuz most likely u did, and u're pissed that u're unable to cut a share of Chanelle's salary? this is just my personal thought, might or might not be true, but, can anyone think of alternative reasons?

next, you claim that the client is your own personal friend. don't you wanna help your own friend find a girl for his booth? picture this - all other booths have tons of girls, Sonax/Broquet only has 2. Out of the 2 of us, only i was posing and taking photos, at least on the day i was working. Jessica was like... walking around... dunno what she was doing oso la. i asked her to pose together, she replied "I don't like to take photos leh, i prefer to promote the products" 0_0 i was abit stunned. but, oh well, i just did my job anyway, mind my own business.

anyway, Jessica called with the aim of scolding me for spoiling her 'plans' (i dunno what evil plan she has in her funny mind oso lar) but i REFUSED to be scolded, because in my heart i knew that my conscience was clear, i did not do anything to sabotage anyone, in fact all i wanted to do was HELP. i mean i could have just not bothered - told the boss i couldnt help him to work on satursday, then get the hell out of the place. But i decided to be nice and HELP him find a replacement, and i sincerely REGRET!

anyway i sounded very hostile on the phone and did not give her any chance to climb over my head. no way in hell. so she had no choice but to put down the phone. then guess what? remember Miyo, the friend whom i replaced initially? she called miyo to scold her! she said stuff like 'Why did u recommend *me* to replace you? she snatched my client you know?! why did u have to be sick on the day that you were supposed to work? you spoilt all my plans you know?!" blablabla and alot alot alot of crap. Miyo is nice and good-natured, and tolerated her nonsense <- and i feel angry about that! Miyo, Chanelle and I are equally pissed about this whole incident, and not to mention the many other girls who 'talked' about Jessica during casual chitchats. - shows how 'well-liked' she is uh.

seriously im not someone who will look for trouble. but guess what i heard AGAIN! miyo was supposed to work for Sonax/Broquet for Singapore Motorshow 2008. But she got cancelled, and Jessica told her that the reason was because IIIIIIIIIII snatched her spot away. WTF?! *rolls eyes until eyeballs wanna drop out* like COME ON, do your homework before attempting to tell lies and spread fake rumours to spoil my reputation? yes indeed i am working for Motorshow, but im not even working for Sonax/Broquet??!! How to 'snatch' Miyo's spot when im not even working for the same company?! Im working for Polygon, and my friend Madeleine was the one who recommended the job to me! GAWD. im just so pissed at being wrongly accused by a low-class aunty! i only got to find out about this when i happened to message Miyo on msn to chat. Imagine if i did not do so, and the misunderstanding was not cleared, miyo would forever think that i backstabbed her, snatched her job? our friendship would be ruined?! I seriously cannot believe how some people can be so evil! watch out for Karma bitch!

I know its a really long and annoying post but, just let me rant. im sure u can sense how angered i am!

Ok on to other things. Also worked for Richard Mille event at MOS, where Jacky Chan was present. but i aint a fan luh~ was more interested in the countless Lamborghinis etc parked outside...gosh...Lambos in all sorts of colours, an eye-opener *envioussss* many many girls worked, many familiar faces, really. job scope was just to party. oh guess who was working too? Jessica! and she was like...alone, ALONE walking around in the club, while everyone else were in cliques? need i say more... Anyway i had fun hanging with babes like Shu Min, Eva, Sarah, Lisa, Victoria, and the cute gang, Elaine Huirong Chanelle Miyake and more~more~... Joanne even dragged a group of us to go dance on the podium at like 3+am when there werent much people left, and we took off our heels to dance more comfortably! lol so unglam!!! ahh, it was fun :)

Ok last but not least, my birthday celebration :)

1 day before actual bday: baby picked me up from a casting, drove to Changi. i was kinda disheartened... why bring me to an ulu place to celebrate my bday. haha. but... in the end i was impressed and delighted!

There's this Changi Village Hotel just behind the row of coffeeshops, and trust me, it's quite posh despite being located in Changi Village. Baby signed up for a couple spa session at 'The Retreat'. We were led to the top floor of the hotel, into a beautiful massage-room with an attached balcony. at the balcony, there was a jacuzzi pool and an outdoor rainshower! whee!!! the view was not bad, overlooking a sea, but i dunno what sea? hahas. should be the one leading to Pulau Ubin? There was also chocolate fondue and marshmallows,banana, apple etc provided, by the pool side! We had fun splashing around for about 1 hour, before the masseurs came to provide us with heavenly, relaxing massage! i really loved it, but what a pity, it was so soothing that i fell asleep! geee wasted. haha. all in all, i really did not expect this, and i find it really special! $600+ for 2 people, for 3 hours, - and i have baby to thank for it. THANK YOU BABY!!! but the thing is, if i were to look for a spa package for myself, i would never choose such an expensive one, and i really think baby shouldnt have gone to the extent. i mean yea its amazing, for 3 hours...but after that, all u have left is...memories? =x id rather spend $600 on something tangible, that you can keep, and touch, and see, and admire... lol.

actual bday: baby picked me up from school. as i walked out to the road from the Central Library building, i saw the car, then i saw baby standing beside it, AND THEN i saw him holding a bouquet of roses stuck onto a stuff toy (turtle), and tied together with a huge smiley-face balloon!!! Seriously this is SO unlike baby! he's the 'serious' sort...but he just looked so cute-in-an-odd-manner holding the stuffed toy and balloon! it brought a smile to my face instantly and i giggled out loud to myself! =)

next we headed to Vivocity for dinner at Modesto's. I love the mushroom-soup-which-does-not-look-like-mushroom-soup. and the carbonara. woo nicee! but baby ordered some weird creamy dish in which the pasta came in huge chunks...? huge chunks stuffed with weird fillings inside =x he didnt like it, so i offered to swap with him... didnt want him to waste money ordering another dish... so i bluffed him that i found it okay... but truth is, it was horrible! haha! did not do much on my actual bday night cuz i was rather tired from school.

1 week after actual bday: my bday party at Pamela's condo, poolside! many people were saying 'waaa your bday lasts 1 week uh?' haha...i was simply too busy to organize anything earlier... and im such a procrastinator cum slow worker...its already considered not too bad, that the celebration was only delayed by 1 week? =x

I was rather pissed about the whole party thing because initially i had close to 50-60 confirmed guests. but when the date drew closer, more and more people started saying that they couldnt make it. of course i was disappointed, but more annoyed because i already ordered 55 people's share for the buffet catering, and all those extra portions would go to waste due to these last minute cancellations! i was especially disappointed when several of my best friends couldnt make it. eunice - MIA ever since JC, wan lin - suay suay down with dengue fever on that day, janice - came very late cuz she got drunk the night before, qilin - not in Singapore, Guo an - really see him as brother, but something he did really disappointed me big time, and a couple more... i cant rmb already. These factors made me abit 'sian' when i first arrived at the party. I didnt have the mood to do much. Baby was the one who set up everything, the sound system, the food, carried stuff etc... while i was busy answering phone calls, giving directions... However, more and more friends arrived and i started to cheer up (and get busy, of course). in the end, i really felt happy to see all my friends! Pamela, Brina, Alan, Wee Meng, Chiew Siong, Eeleen and bf, Dominic and gf, Hong Ren Jit Sheng that gang, Climbing club guys Zhiren Zhimian Zhijian JeeDog, Weiche, Jared, Trewq and friend, Queenie and Lena, NUS Arts gang Olivia Juliet Belle Pauline Xiao Xuan Justin Jesse Elvyn, Elvyn's gf and friend, Rubin, Yu Tsung and friends, Dingyan, Shahin, Brina's cool friends, Janice, Sean, Ian, and Yong Quan -who was chatting with me on msn before i left for the party, and found out that i was upset...so he specially came down with 2 of his friends, even though he didnt know any1 else at the party...and they even came with presents! thanks, really...

a while after the party commenced, me, Queenie, Lena, Janice, Tsung and his friends went into the pool, while a crowd gathered to sit around the pool, and we started playing games. losers had to drink. there was a point when i got Sabo-ed BIG TIME, by sean (as usual) and some guys. U see, Ian (such a sweetie) brought Moët & Chandon... Baby bought Vodka and beer. So, they mixed champagne + vodka + beer + softdrink, and ganged up to make me lose that round of the game so that i had to drink that horrible 'concoction'!!! MAN IT WAS KILLER!!! it tasted awful, and it burnt all the way from my throat down to my tummy. YUCK!!! im such a hopeless drinker that THAT was enough to kill me, and make me high for the night. lol. loserish right. i reached home looking like a red, sick lobster, and i had the wanna-puke-but-cannot-puke sensation as well as a splitting headache. GRRR. thankfully mum made me a glass of hot tea and i felt alot better after that! i seriously hate alcohol, serious!

also, while this gang was around/inside the pool, another gang was gathered around baby, and his laptop. ??? watching soccer match! lol. im glad everyone had at least something to do... thankfully there was soccer to help me entertain my guests since i was unable to split myself into many-me-s and be with everyone at the same time! soccer also helps to bond people together man... ok i seem to be loving soccer for the wrong reasons. lol

I received alot of presents!!! yipee!! but honestly, i was not expecting any presents, really, really. the presence of my frens were my main objective, which is why i was so disappointed when people couldnt make it... however i was really touched to receive all sorts of cool gifts from my friends! I have something to confess though... i do not know WHO gave WHAT present, cuz there are no names written!!! and i have yet to ask around to find out... damn... if you're reading this, do tell me which gift was from you, ok?? *paiseh* have yet to take pix of my presents as i havent really had he time to sit down and open them properly, except for Rubin's Belgian chocolates! yummy marvellous!!! will upload pix soon.

for now, im tired, gotta work at Motorshow again tml... but i'll also be meeting a girl halfway through work to collect my Victoria Secret golden Angel tote bag! so im lookin forward to that!!! whee! ciao~

steven lim

2008-09-13T11:11:00.000-07:00

i had the weirdest dream ever this afternoon.
id actually already woken up at about 12pm, but i went back to nap for about an additional hour, and within this hour, i had one of the most terrible dreams i'd ever encountered in my life.
it was scary because it felt real.
it wasn't action-packed, with fireballs or hairy monsters...it took place in a realistic setting...
i dreamt that i was being held hostage by...
ok this might sound funny. - steven lim. -_-
HAHA!
he makes the dream all the more scarier right. haha

i remember one very scary scene. i opened the door, and saw baby in bed with 1 of my ex-classmates (omg so weird, like, very no link at all!)
then steven lim was very angry (more angry than i was?! lol)
then he proceeed to use a big needle to jab into her nose (in between the nostrils) and she bled...
then he started jabbing elsewhere... all over her face... then her body... until she died...
omg, dam scary ok!
throughout the dream i was worried he might do the same thing to me! so i tried not to antagonize him, and remained a very well-behaved hostage. haha

i remember at 1 point, i somehow managed to escape (i dont know how), but in the dream, i saw myself at a mama shop with a friend, in daylight.
then i had this feeling in my heart, "i think i should stay indoors, for fear that steven lim might somehow appear and capture me again?"
and just as i finished thinking that thought, he appeared, indeed!
then i remember this very funny part. i was scared and wanted to run, but i knew i wouldnt be able to escape lar, cuz steven lim was on a bicycle. haha
so i pretended to be friends with him!
i said "hey...how r u..." (omg super lame luh! hahaha. if i were steven lim, i'd be rolling my eyes away and saying 'cut the crap!')
well anyway, next thing i knew, i was being flung into a coffee shop, together with the stall owner and his family, and locked up inside.
steven lim had a gun this time, and he was pointing it around.
the fear of anticipating a bullet pierce my body any moment, was so tormenting! its like everytime he locked eyes with me, id wonder if, this would be IT.
then, something very drama-like happened. i started talking to him, and persuading him not to do anyting rash... and indeed, he sorta 'came to his senses', and all of us actually relaxed, and started chatting/sharing stories inside the coffeeshop. sheesh! so typical of dramas.
but suddenly, baby appeared! together with the police! to rescue us!
then steven lim glared at me, thinking i must have tipped the police off, and was merely pretending to be nice to him...
and the dream ended off in a very cheesy manner, with me saying 'steven! bu4 shi4 wo3 bao4 jing3 de4!' (it wasnt me who called the police!), while he was being dragged away....

seriously, like. what the f~!!!
a really nonsensical dream!
i think i must be too stressed out -_-

slut

2008-08-31T06:32:00.000-07:00

Stop bugging me you bitch. annoying the hell outta me.

which bitch? some bitch who went to a birthday party, and told a stranger (who knew me) that i'm a slut, and that i fuck around.

wow, so daring to make such comments uh?

this same bitch denied everything when i confronted her, and bugged me everyday to remove her photos from my blog. what happened to those guts?

how did i get to know about this? unfortunately for her, the friend whom she bitched about me to, came to tell me about everythin she said.

apparently my friend was just trying to make conversation, so he casually asked her if she knew me, as she mentioned she was from DHS, and my friend knew that i was from that school too.

so she replied, 'yes she is a slut and she sleeps around!'

whoa whoa. this bitch happens to be my sec 1/2 ex-classmate, whom i remember being nice to. no bad blood between us at all.

when i told common friends about this matter, they all went 'HUH? ******(her name) ?! i can't believe it?!'

why this kinda response? cuz she seemED like the innocent, oblivious, mind-your-own-business, NICE sort...in the past...

but well, 2 lessons learnt: 1. people change, 2. do not judge a book by is cover. won't know what a person's thinkng inside ya?

ok anyway, y am i so agitated?

i mean, quite DUH rite? simply cuz i do NOT fuck around.

cmon, u're teling me you won't get angry if you get accused, or when you hear someone spreading SUCH a rumour about u out there?

if u say, camy is ugly. i don't care. it's ur opinion, and opinions are subjective.

but when u say 'camy sleeps around', it's a factual statement!

and people will probably think 'oh, camy's ex-classmate says she sleeps around! it's someone who knows camy personally, so it's probably true!'

and then that's how rumours spread from 1 to another, and seem to appear so true.

wah, if i allow her to carry on what she's doing, then what's gonna happen to my reputation.

y am i so agitated?

cuz i feel that this sounds so lame.

i broke contact with this bitch ever since we graduated from sec2 and went to separate classes in upper sec.

so is she tryin to imply that i was fucking around, ever since sec1/2, since that was the time she was actually in my social circle?

cmon. u believe that shit?

or mayb what she meant was that, recently she heard ppl saying that i am the sort who fuck around. so? just because you hear something, you go spread it around without verifying its accuracy? how irresponsible is that? n cmon uni student, i dun suppose you're that dumb to believe everything you hear from other ppl? do u have the proof to show that i sleep around?

you see, people have the guts to say anything they want or like, because they think that the person whom they are talking about, will not know about what they have said.

its just like internet forums/blog tagboards. people write all sort of nasty stuff to slam blog authors, cuz they have an annonymous identity to hide behind. u think these people will dare to say those nasty stuff to the face of their targets? seriously doubt so.

when discussing why the hell this bitch would wanna say such stuff about me, most of my friends came to the conclusion that, judging by her style from photos, she doesn't seem to be the sort who has had many boyfriends (i personlly don't even know if she has had any before =x) hence most probably she has never had sex before, and therefore she has something against other people whom she thinks, has had sex. (??) i dunno man.

when confronted, she conveniently said:

-i never said such stuff about you

-i don't know the friend who told you i said so

-i think your friend is trying to set me up

seriously. lol. are u askin for a tight slap?

why, why, why would my friend wanna set YOU up? like, of all people, why YOU?! why not someone else, like pamela, or jean, or stanley, why YOU?

no reason for doing so, because:

-we're not even close to each other, so if my friend had an intention of ruining friendships, he should have chosen someone else.

-YOU are not a popular/famous figure that anyone would take notice of, so my friend would most likely not know of your very existence, UNLESS he indeed met u at a party, and conversed with you.

-as mentioned previously, u're not famous in any way, such that my friend would be jealous (?) of you, and hence wanna get you into trouble.

so in conclusion, if you've got the guts to say that i fuck around, please do yourself a favour to at least admit that you did it, and juz apologize, instead of trying so desperately to lie your way out of trouble, and in the process make yourself look so stupid and pathetic.

do u think this post sounds very mean? no, im not bitching, i'm juz writing out what i feel in my heart. i'd never say anything nasty about this girl, if not for what she'd done. at least i have the courtesy to not mention her name at all throughout my post. so yea, if u're reading this, DON'T bug me to remove my post because there is no indication that i'm talking about you. This is my blog and i write whatever i want, just like how you said whatever you liked about me. At least i'm openly airing my thoughts, unlike you, swallowing your words - coward.

ABOUT TIME i moved on to more meaningful things!

recently iv been SO busy. REALLY busy.

somehow there seems to be so many events going on in september... and i've kinda been workin/going for castings a few times every week!

not to mention school. 8am lecture? 5 day week? seriously killin me!

those who know me well will probably say, 'aiya, u confirm skip 8am lecture luh!'

yea if i had a choice i would! but i kena complained for not attending the 1st 3 lectures... u see, the class's so small that the lecturer can tell who's here and who's not. <- Photography module. i hate it! although there's no exam at the end of the year, the workload is crazy!

i left NUS 3 hours ago at 1030pm, cuz i was busy snapping photos of people, for this week's assignment. sigh. the assignment's so silly lar. make us snap pics of students. imagine how awkward/pissed off they feel, being photographed by a stranger, and not knowing where the pics are gonna appear (on a slideshow presentation, and shown to a class of 25 people HAHA) i also feel paiseh snapping them without their consent can. -_-

apart from school and work, my birthday also has to fall on his month! how great. -_-

i will update in another post, on how it all went. so far so good :)

party's comin up next week. kinda excited, but the planning kinda sux!

so right now i'm busy with bday planning, assignments, a few castings and work...

and then right after the bday party's done, it's gonna be time for F1 - which means a few days of work lined up all in a row.

whee prepare to fall ill due to fatigue~!

baby's bday

2008-08-27T05:05:00.000-07:00

Baby's birthday!

Dinner at 'wu zhao pai' seafood restaurant at Vivo, with Gedeon and Vincent

Simple and cosy... guess that's the way it is, when u hit 25...! haha

seafood you tiao, and coffee-flavoured pork ribs...
yum yum!!

Gedeon and Vincent, Chilli Crab and Black Pepper Crab

I think Newton's chilli crab is nicer...

but the pepper crab was really delicious!

baby doesnt eat vegeables at all... but he ordered a vege dish for me, cuz i don't really like meat... thanks :)

i really enjoyed the meal and the company!

Later that night, back at baby's house...

Surprise!!!

(Pardon the cake and coke at the right side)

I lined up tealight candles into an 'I -heart- U' formation, at an open space found outside a room that's beside baby's room.

It was kinda scary when i was lining the 'U' cuz, there isn't any fence around this open space, and i was afraid i'd fall off while arranging/lighting the 'U'

I risked my life to make my bf's surprise... lol... he'd better appreciate it!

It was a tough job for me, as i am afraid of fire!

burnt my fingers a couple of times and winced quietly in pain (can't whine too loudly for fear that he might hear me from next door)

Had Swensen's cookies n cream cake up there, under the stars, and.. on top of the birthay poster (or should i say, picnic mat -_-) that i made. grr

I really intended to fill up more space by sticking photos all over the poster... it'd be much more visually aesthetic, as well as meaningful...

but i didnt have time to go develop photos as i was in baby's house most of the time..

so i compiled all the photos and put them together nicely in a Powerpoint presentation which i showed to the birthday boy, after having the cake :)

This is my 1st time doing something like this for my boyfriend, cuz usually, it is the guy who does such things for the girl, and yea, it seems really cliche and drama-like to me *shudders*

but i had no other idea lah... and i really wanted to do something memorable to surprise baby...

i think, at least i fulfilled my objective... cuz baby said it's the 1st time a girlfriend had done something like this for him as well, and i could tell he didn't really see this coming.

So yea, Happy Birthday Old Man, next up, we're gonna get your tattoo done :)

My birthday party will be held on13th Sep, so friends of mine, please keep that day free, as i'll be inviting lots of people.

i wanna see all my friends... old friends, dota friends, ex-sch-mates, nus friends, colleagues and even relatives!

Jun Ren and his band, Blackstar will also be playing music through the night!

I am also trying to psycho my talented friends to put up performances, so that guests will at least be entertained when im busy hopping around from clique to clique.

Some of my friends suggested celebrating in a club, but nah...

i REALLY don't wanna get wasted... haha

furthermore it's gonna be so noisy, so crowded

and clubbing's something you can get to do any other day yea...

most importantly, not all my friends (and of course relatives...haha) might like clubbing...

mayb those who want to, can stay on and hit the clubs after the official party has ended...hmm...?

i don't know man, i haven't really planned much... grrr... stressed

part of me feels like not celebrating at all =x

oops

recently, been addicted to online shopping

i noticed that alot of girls have their own livejournal blogshops now...

i want to set up 1 too, but im too lazy to start... taking pics, measurements etc... argh~

i have alot of old and new clothes to sell though.
anyway the variety and selection at those kinda blogshops are really great...

its so addictive... clicking on links after links...

just to share some of my recent loots:

and much much more...

im so broke now...

sigh~

horrible thomson laksa

2008-08-23T11:21:00.000-07:00

i stayed up till 8am, working on baby's birthday surprise.
as i was cutting, pasting, twirling, wrapping... i had a mini internal conversation with myself.
my tired mind wondered... 'woah. issit worth it man!' and my heart replied, 'of course it is, silly. hang in there!'

i remember that particular incident when baby called me at 7am to say he's outside the door with breakfast.
and i was stunned, not because i was surprised by his act, but rather, because i wasn't at home to open the door for him.

i had gone out, earlir, at goddamn 3am to some other guy's house, to attend a stupid party, and i had lied to baby about it.
and at that moment, i knew i my lie had been exposed.

as i rushed home in a cab, almost in tears, i realised baby had swtiched off his phone, and wasn't responding to my messages which attempted to explain the situation.
when i flung open the door to my bedroom, i saw an empty bed, no baby lying on it, and a box of nasi lemak and lime juice waiting for me.

mum had let him in, and he had left upon seeing an empty room... upon seeing utter disappointment in his gf.
at that moment i felt shattered.
all this while i had something good right before my eyes, yet i left all that for something else that did not really matter, and i was wondering why must it always be that everything only becomes so clear, when one is on the verge of losing that something that has always been there... that something, whose importance never gets noticed before, until it is gone.
thankfully for me, i was given a second chance, and i've been treasuring it ever since.

i used to think it was important to always 'hang out' with friends...
'hang out' as in, chill at nice places, have crazy clubbing nights out, movies, suppers, parties etc.
but lately i feel that i've become simpler.
playing silly computer games, slacking around at home with baby, taking a short drives out, exploring the neighbourhood for food, and... experiencing the joy of satisfying our hunger in the middle of an extremely lazy night by ordering McDelivery...
sounds like everything revolves around food and laziness. hahas.

today we went exploring around baby's new neighbourhood, thomson.
i tasted the worst-tasting laksa ever, and he tasted the worst-tasting ba chor mee ever.
im not the sort of person who takes 2 spoonfuls of something, finds it not nice, and then just leaves the whole bowl aside and order something else.(baby is though)
i always try to at least eat till im no longer hungry, so that i fulfil my primary purpose of purchasing a food item. (then no need to spend $ to order an additional bowl wat... lol)
however, the laksa was so bad that i left like 75% of it, and proceeded to takeaway prata for dinner instead.
thankfully, the prata in thomson is thumbs up!
the Cheese Prata shop near NUS is -_-. it is so dry and....i dunno... 'dead'?
haha yea funny choice of words there, but the mushroom cheese prata from thomson, really seems like its oozing with...life! u poke your fork in, and thick, creamy, warm cheese practically flows out! ooooooo
speaking of which, i still have some leftover prata from dinner, which i feel like reheating and eating now! but...baby's kitchen is in the basement... and he's asleep... and his family's asleep... and im scared =x
should i just starve?
but it's hard, cuz im chatting with steph on msn, and we're on the topic of food!

*me. says:
i heard chinese food in ang moh countries r actually v expensive rite?
*me. says:
how much dussit cost over there?
Right here in UB says:
erm... like my vegs and shrimp rice... around $4 usd.
Right here in UB says:
but my friend had mixed vegs (lots of meat though) rice and it costs like $7 usd. ex!!!!

wow... people are paying that much for what we know as 'economical rice' in singapore. how ironic. haha.
well, im thankful that 'cai fan' costs only about $3 to $5 in singapore, as i pretty much enjoy having it. simple, nice, good enough.
but im looking forward to having something not-so-simple...crab!!! for baby's birthday... yumx :)

sending Qi off at the airport tomorrow, or should i say later today, since it's aleady 4am =x

This is the long goodbye...

friends all leavin

2008-08-22T08:06:00.000-07:00

hey im back to blogging again, because there are just too many precious moments that i can't afford to lose, but risk losing by just leaving them somewhere inside my memory!

this time round however, it's gonna be very privte, low-key, just words... no photos, no camwhoring...

xx vs dy blog wars/quarreling shitz/flaming... no. leave me outta them.

for the past few months, iv been truly happy, very happy.

genting, bangkok...just relaxing and having fun, casting all troubles away.

i have to thank my baby for bringing me around, providing for me, becoming a more thoughtful and sensitive boyfriend.

when i asked, 'do u think u are treating me better nowadays?'

he replied, 'hmmm? perhaps? but more or less the same though... iv always been nice to u wat.'

baby you might not feel that you have changed drastically, but to me, i see it all so clearly, the small things. cuz they matter to me.

i am finally contented. i can finally think of myself as one of those 'fortunate girlfriends'.

it's been close to 9months. im amazed. to be truthful, i never quite expected this relationship to last. but now, i feel that our relationship has progressed into a new phase, a higher level.

couple of times, i almost ruined it, beause of stupid temptations. but come to think of it, if it weren't cuz of the existence of these silly happenings, i wouldnt have come to see what's important/worthy to hold on to, and what's not.

so i thank all the characters/obstacles that once came between our relationship, for making our bond stronger in the end.

baby's birthday is approaching!

and we both agreed that i shall just sponsor his tattoo, since he's a VERY choosy person, and there will be a high possibility that i might buy something he dislikes, if i were to go shopping for a birthday gift on my own.

it's not that im a lousy girlfriend and don't understand his tastes well, but he is really very difficult to please! haha.

then again, i admit i havent been a good girlfriend either. iv never really bought my bf anything for the past 9 months, except for...a heart shaped slice of strawberry cake (which he didnt like), a pen modeled after a biscuit-stick (which i forced him to use for school), random samples from my CLEO goodie bag, a pair of sunglasses that i found..yikes, simpsons boxers, a bedside lamp which costs $5... thats about it! gosh, my poor boyfriend =x

i admit, i did not invest my 100% in the relationship, majority of the time. but now, things are different.

in 4 days' time, he's gonna be in for a surprise. i've got it all planned. now iv just gotta get my lazy ass off to WORK!

im excited bout it :)

im so happy cuz Qi is back in sg! vacation for a month.

the only once when all 4 of us were gathered together, was when we went for eyebrow trimming + chillout dinner... then for subsequent meetings, 1 of us was always absent. so sad.

anyhows, there was, dinner at bugis, lingerie browsing, st james, tasty hot dogs, supper at changi village, and the adorable kittens... i missed out on the Top One KTV session! arghs :(

don't u miss my voice Qi? hahas.

in what seems like a twinkle of an eye, Qi's heading back to LA in 2 days' time :(

i will miss u girl... it's gonna be a long 9mths... but hey, there's nothing that our sisterhood can't conquer yea? :)

speaking of leaving, steph recently left us for studies as well.

so now, 2 of my 4-man-cliques are left with only 3 men. sigh.

although i havent known steph for a very long time, and although i first got to know her through a friend during a casual clubbing session, i feel that we really do have an amazing chemistry, and i just feel so comfortable sharing my thoughts and secrets with her... (i feel comfortable french-kissin her as well! lol)

together, olivia, juliet, steph and i never fail to have FUN, be it the usual crazy clubbing nights, or simple dinners/catch up sessions, and even hitting the beach!

i can't wait for u to return in 4 months time so we can resume our 4-man girly outings.

another person who has already left... is rubin.

the person... who made me fall in love with salmon mentaiyaki

... who made me fall in love with dan ryan's chilli cup and sauteed mushrooms

... who made me read a novel out of my own accord, after god-knows-how-many-years of not reading storybooks

the person who feel utterly disgusted whenever i share my pains about menstrual cramps and periods. and it shows on his facial expression. damn funny.

oh rubs, i miss u too.

sometimes i wonder, why must it be my dearest friends who have to leave, and not other people? y not that certain mr E who has a hobby of lying and crashing other ppls' cars? y can't horrible people like these leave/disappear, like poof. grr. fuckers.

but o well, there's really alot more to life than being upset with insignificant/unimportant people, agree? agreed.

im off to supper with my neighbour-cum-ex-TJ-climbing-buddy, jee dog. whee!

Let's get FaT!!!